Mary Donohue

ALHE 5550

Spring 2008

1.  The protagonist, Ramon, wants to die...what is your view of assisted suicide.  As few of you realize, this is one of the emerging dilemmas that YOU will personally deal with in practice, ie, in Oregon a person may have Rx-scripted OD dosages of barbiturates to assist death (the legality of this was contested by the Federal government and just upheld in the Supreme Court, but quite a few people have used this technique to expedite a 'planned death'). State your view and defend or contest assisted suicide.

I do support assisted suicide.  I think it is a very personal matter and that each individual should decide for themselves how they wish to live and also how they wish to die.  As in the movie, Ramon wanted to “die with dignity.”  I did understand his reasoning, but I don’t think he gave this new life a chance. I am a very independent person, so losing my independence and having to be dependent on other people would be very difficult for me, but I would hope that I would have tried to work out a new life.   I have a cousin who married a man who is a quadriplegic and their lives are wonderful.  He works outside of the home, has an adopted son and he travels on vacation with the family.  Although I don’t necessarily feel that Ramon should have taken his life, I also respect his decision to do it.

When I think of assisted suicide, I normally think toward a terminally ill patient.  They know that their death is coming sooner rather than later and their suffering may start to escalate.  Ramon was not going to die due to his inability to move his body, though he was suffering mentally.  If I had a terminal illness, I wouldn’t want to become a burden to my family if they have to completely care for me.  If I had a disease that continued to get worse, I wouldn’t want my family to remember me suffering and bedridden.  I want their memories to be those of good times when I was vibrant and active.  As time went on and they saw me deteriorate, those good memories would be overshadowed by the suffering.

 I always felt that this was a black and white issue for me, until I started to think about me helping helping one of my relatives or close friends take their life (as opposed to the other way around).  I don’t know if I would be able to “help” them with it, even though I know it is what they wanted.  I hope that I would be supportive of their decision, but I don’t know if I could help carry out their plan.

2.  My doc research was specifically on folks like Ramon; however, none of my patients ever discussed expediting their death with me.  Give three issues that struck you as different about the way Ramon viewed his life in the movie, considering foremost that he wanted his life to end.

            One thing that I noted about Ramon was that he felt that he could not “love” a woman because he was unable to love in the physical sense.  I did feel quite sad for him when he mentioned that.  It was so obvious that he was loved by women in his life, but he couldn’t see how anyone would love him in the state he was in.

            His original view about his wheelchair caught my attention as well.  When asked about why he doesn’t use one, he replied that “it would be like accepting the crumbs of the life he once had.”  He had it in his mind that his life was over once the accident happened.  He behaved like he would never be a contributing member of society because he was in a wheelchair.  It didn’t have to be like that.  He was a wonderful writer.  He also came up with ideas for inventions that his nephew would then build for him.  Those qualities were amazing, but he still didn’t feel whole because of the accident.

            He also didn’t see how things that he did affected others around him.  Just his being a friend to Rosa gave her something she had never experienced – a true, normal, happy relationship with a man.  He also helped build a relationship with Javier and his grandfather.  Javier was very frustrated with his grandfather and Ramon wanted to help with the relationship.  He couldn’t see that in just these two instances alone, he did make a difference in people’s lives.

3.  The ladies seemed attracted to Ramon.  State 3 features that made him attractive to the ladies in this film, remember that there are more than three ladies he deals with (be specific and name them in the context of your answer for points). 

            Rosa loved the fact that he was a guy that was not out to hurt her.  She had never been in a relationship with a man that was pleasant.  She was able to talk to Ramon and visit with him and there were no strings attached.  She needed a positive relationship in her life.  He was an outlet for her from her hectic, single mother life.  When she met Ramon, she was very set against a person taking their own life.  In the end, her love is what allowed her to change her mind and help in his assisted suicide. 

            Julia was attracted to him because he understood what she was going through.  Because she had a progressive disease, she didn’t know anyone who could truly understand what her life was like.  I think she also was envious of him because he was “strong” enough to say that he didn’t want to live this life anymore.  It was not the politically correct thing to do, but he felt so strongly about it.

            His sister-in-law, Manuela, loved Ramon like a son.  I don’t think that she felt that taking care of Ramon was a burden.  She was so kind to him and took care and protected him.  When he was crying out in his sleep, she immediately ran to him.  She did it out of love.